Show - Léandre "Sablier"

I'm telling you, I wasn't born like this, I used to use shampoo, I thought I was beautiful, I even had a swimming pool. Then one morning I lost it all, all my hair. And also my self-esteem. But I kept the pool, so sad yes, but in backstroke. The doctor told me it was alopecia, my parents said they'd always be there, and my buddies... They're not my friends anymore. I even felt like dying. Or rather, I no longer wanted to live in a world where I can't be surprised. But now it's all right, I've become atypical. It's like ugly but you can have sex. And since my head has become a joke, I figured I already had the first joke of the show. Now all I have to do is tell you the rest.